The Game Isn't Bad, Just Some Involved With it
by beastlycharizard13
Summary: The AGA Finals have started in Nexton, North Carolina and all of South Park is excited to enjoy what they entered the sweepstakes for. Meanwhile, Dylan and his crew continue to try and uncover what Davenport's plan is, on top of keeping their operation a secret. But when Bebe and Ike suddenly go missing, Dylan is forced to reveal his operation to the boys. RFSP episode 2
1. Chapter 1

RFSP episode #102

The Game Isn't Bad, Just Some Involved With It

Synopsis: The AGA Finals golf tournaments have now started and the whole town of South Park is excited to finally attend what they won from the sweepstakes, minus Liane Cartman, who is still worked up over the whole ordeal for a mysterious reason. Despite any efforts to keep his secret operation with his classmates a secret, Dylan Scralp is forced to reveal his operation to the boys when Bebe and Ike suddenly go missing. To top it all off, Stan finds himself attempting to answer a very difficult question: Does he still have any feelings for Wendy?

The Game Isn't Bad, Just Some Involved With It

Chapter 1-The First Day

 **A/N: Hello again everyone! Welcome to episode 2 of Rad Fanon South Park! I apologize if the first one was somewhat bland, but the first 4 episodes of RFSP are all a four part episode, so naturally the first one might not be as entertaining. But hopefully, you'll see that the action picks up in this one. So enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing related to South Park that appears in this story. I only own my OC's.**

* * *

The first practice day of the AGA Men's Finals golf tournament had finally arrived. The day to kick off the event as a whole was finally upon the town of Nexton, North Carolina. Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and Butters had just arrived with their families via a Nexton resort shuttle and were waiting on Kyle to get there, since he was staying with the Scralp's.

"Anybody see Kyle around here?" Stan asked anybody who was listening.

"Screw the Jew boy, let's go in without him!" Cartman retorted.

No sooner had the self-proclaimed big-boned child spoken those words, Dylan Scralp's car came into view with all four Broflovski's inside.

"Morning everyone!" Dylan greeted everyone as he stepped out.

"You guys ready for this?"

"Hell yeah we are!" Kyle replied as he stepped out.

"Nobody brought anything forbidden did they?" Dylan asked as he motioned towards a tent labeled "Prohibited Items".

"No, but I prayed that my dad wouldn't." Stan answered.

"I'll bet you five dollars he doesn't make it through security" Dylan challenged.

"Sure, whatever." Stan replied rather hesitantly.

The group approached a large security tent, which acted as the gate. Dylan went through the bag check first, and once given the green light, walked to the end of the tent and waited on everyone else. Sharon, Shelley, and Stan all got through fine, but naturally, Randy had an issue.

"Sir, what is this?" a security guard, with a sort of monotone voice, asked him as held up a teeny-tiny video camera of some kind.

"Oh it's OK; I'm one of the contest winners. You know, VIP and stuff."

"Rules are rules sir."

"Oh come on! How is that going to distract any golfers!?"

"Oh Jesus Christ, not again!" Stan muttered as he pinched his nose.

"It could make a small, barely audible, noise when you start recording." The security officer continued.

"But I can mute that though!"

"It could still distract the golfer and make him anxious since people are watching him and all."

"But I'm one of millions watching him!"

"Randy, just give him the damn camera!" Sharon pleaded.

"Oh no Sharon! These rules are illogical, and I aim to strike down this bullshit!"

"Suit yourself." The security guard took out a can of pepper spray and hosed Randy in the face with it, who immediately started vomiting.

Sharon sighed. "I knew he wouldn't keep his word about changing." Stan gave Dylan a $5 dollar bill and Kenny even took out a tally sheet and added another mark to it.

"Get him to the 1st Aid tent and MAKE SURE he knows the rules." The security officer said to one of his fellow security officers as Randy was dragged off. Once that was all done, the rest of the group got through security without any problems and continued walking. About 34.6754398 seconds later, they made it to the top of the entrance road everything was set up on, where they could see the golf courses laid out before them.

"Whoa, how many golf courses are there?" Kyle inquired.

"The resort as a whole actually has about six. The first four are all over here and the Sapphire course is the most famous one as well as the one the tournament participants play on. The other 3, or at least parts of them, are where all the tents and stuff are set up."

The kids started to gaze in awe at what lay before them: Grandstands, and TV cameras, and the like.

"Whoa that's so cool!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Well you kids run along now and have fun!" Sheila stated.

"You're letting us go alone?" Kyle questioned.

"Absolutely not! Dylan do you mind staying with them? I'm sure Liane and Linda would appreciate it!"

"No problem. My family won't be here for a little while longer. I don't really have anyone else to be with right now."

"Thank you! Be good Kyle!"

"He's safe with me Liane." Dylan whispered under his breath as the adults walked off.

"Oh boy fellas! This is going to be awesome! And for two weeks too!" Butters exclaimed.

("This is just a practice round though, right?")

"Yeah, the real thing starts Thursday. So uh, you guys want to check out the sponsor tents first?"

"What's in it?"

"Beats me."

"Might as well then."

The group walked over to a series of tents that were all built on high-raised platforms, which had a carpet of sorts on them as well.

"Let's see…." Stan observed the area. "Some kind of education-corporation sponsor tie-in tent, Toyota tent, a concessions tent, and some others. How much money do you guys have?"

"Dylan's dad said that even though we're VIP and shit, we still have to pay for the "basic concessions" and merchandise at the tournament. Everything else on this entire trip, both inside the tournament grounds and out, is free for us." Kyle answered.

"Gee Kenny; your family's pretty lucky." Cartman smirked.

"Yeah, well how much money did you bring for food fat ass? $200?" Stan asked him, which made the others laugh

Just then an AGA volunteer walked up to the boys with a box full of headphones and audio receivers.

"Hey you guys want some of these? It's live audio footage of the tournament, so you can still get updated even if you're not there."

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Butters all immediately went for it. Kenny was about to, but Dylan pushed him aside.

"He's deaf." Dylan lied.

"That's too bad. Enjoy the day!"

("What the fuck was that for?") Kenny whispered to Dylan.

"Trust me dude, you don't want these things. My team ran a few scans on them and found out that they pick up some sort of neurological brain wave mechanism. I'm not sure what, but it sounds like part of the AGA's plan might have something to do with mind control of some sort!"

("Well then don't let my friends use them!")

"And expose my team and your involvement with it? I don't think so."

"Aw man." Kyle uttered. "My headset's just picking up something about basketball!

"Yeah so is mine!"

"They're probably just tuned to ESPN or something and not some special radio channel."

* * *

Meanwhile over at the 1st Aid tent, Sharon and Shelley dropped by to get Randy, who was led out by a security officer.

"So do we KNOW the rules now?" the guard asked him.

"Y…yes." Randy said as he coughed from the pepper spray.

"Are you ready to not make an ass of yourself?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah…I think so. God that pepper spray really stung…."

"You'll get over it, c'mon."

As the three of them walked away, the officer who dragged Randy out of the tent pulled out a walkie-talkie and spoke quietly into it.

"This is Martin. Had a rule breaker at the bag check, but I took care of him."

"Excellent work." Replied the voice on the other end. "You're sure you took GOOD care of him?"

"Affirmative commander."

"But he is from South Park, so I want you to keep some tabs on him and his family, especially his son. And don't forget to keep an eye out for that blonde girl too."

"Roger that. Over and out."

* * *

While this was happening at the tournament grounds, Sara, Edith, and Chris were huddled around a computer in the EOH Juniors' underground base, trying to get the monitor to display something.

"Is the connection secure or not?" Sara asked Chris impatiently.

"Yes Sara, it is!" Chris said right before the screen finally turned on. "Ah ha! There we are!"

"Ew, why did Dylan put the new camera in a bathroom stall!?" said a disgusted Edith.

"He said it was more discrete that way." Chris answered. "Besides, we all know how long he takes in there. It'd be good if he had a lot of info to give us."

A few seconds later, the door to the stall the camera was in opened up and Dylan walked inside. After a few seconds of searching, Dylan finally found his end of the camera.

"Can you guys hear me?"

"Loud and clear!"

"Great!"

"Everything alright over there?"

"So far so good, but I'm not sure if it ever was."

"What do you mean?"

"Stan's dad got dragged away by security. He was trying to sneak in a small video camera, but when he refused, security sprayed him with pepper spray and took him to 1st Aid.

"So?" Chris wondered. "Randy's always like that."

"I know but…after he got sprayed, a different security guard took him to the 1st Aid tent. Before they left, the one who sprayed him told the other guy to make sure Randy knows the rules. It was his tone of voice and emphasis on the "make sure" part that worries me. And now Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Butters have those little earphone things. I told Kenny what we found out about them and he didn't get one. What about you guys?"

"As you know, Anna and Carmen are working a food tent right now. They should be there already. We also sent in Aaron and Casey to cover more ground. Maria will be there in the afternoon."

"Who else from South Park is there? Did you scan the grounds?"

"We did, but for now it seems to be just their mayor and that Scott Malkinson kid. We're thinking that Stan's ex and her friends will be by at around noon."

"Glad you told me that. And what about-."

A loud banging on the stall door was heard.

"Hurry up I got to take a shit!" Cartman yelled.

Dylan leaned in closer to the camera. "Oops. I got to go. Fill me in later." He walked out and Cartman immediately went in.

"About time asshole!"

"Oh quiet you!"

Cartman sat down on the toilet and started making a few grunting noises, which was the only indication Chris needed to turn the camera off out of pure disgust.

* * *

Later at Noon, Wendy, Bebe, and Red had taken a seat in the grandstand at the 12th hole of the Sapphire course, where they spent most of the time gawking at whatever handsome golfer came their way with a pair of binoculars.

The well-known Anderson Bedford made his way to the putting green and prepared himself. After a few practice swings, he put the golf ball into the hole. He started to walk away as everyone cheered.

"That one was hot!" Red exclaimed.

"Who here isn't?" Bebe replied. "It's got to be at least 90 degrees out here!"

"Yeah I'm glad we didn't wear our coats!" Wendy said. "I'm surprised we haven't already passed out from these temperatures we've never lived in! Besides, that Polish guy was hotter."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah-huh!"

"What about Sebastian Gandy?" Bebe asked.

"Eww!"

"That guy plays his balls in every hole!"

Heidi then entered the grandstand with four frozen lemonades.

"About time! What took you so long?"

"Give me a break! Its 90 degrees and it's the middle of the afternoon, of course there was a long line!

"Heidi, tell Red that the Polish guy is the hottest golfer here." Wendy asked her.

"You mean Justyn Henryk? I was going for Gavin Ochoa on that one."

* * *

The next day, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, and Dylan were sitting in a grandstand by the 7th hole.

"Day two." Cartman said. "Things weren't so good for some of them yesterday. But luckily for them, this is still practice. If any of those guys get screwed over…blame the Jews and their evil leader, Kyle."

"Cartman!"

"But I can understand Kyle. I did some research and it turns out, none of these golfers are Jewish. This is clearly the Jew's form of revenge."

("That's literally one of the most retarded things you've ever said!")

"Yeah!"

As the four of them kept bickering, Dylan and Butters were having a pleasant conversation.

"But then my dad said 'You're grounded Mister!'"

"Just for having a 'bad' school picture?"

"Yeah! Eventually I got sick of society, so I made an evil alter ego of myself. I made a costume out of tinfoil and became…Professor Chaos!"

"So you're the kid dressed in tinfoil in that news story I saw?"

"Either me or Dougie."

"Dougie?"

"He's a 2nd grader who serves as my sidekick, General Disarray. With him at my side and my hamsters as minions, nothing stood in my way of seeking revenge on those who shunned me! Wha ha ha ha! Wha hah ha!"

"Butters we only kicked you out of our group because we thought you weren't doing a good job as Kenny's replacement." Stan replied.

"Yeah Tweek did much better." Kyle added.

"This is exactly why I created Professor Chaos…to seek revenge on all of society and to destroy the world! Aha hah ha!"

"I'm guessing you didn't succeed, huh?" Dylan asked.

"No." Butters answered with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"What the hell did we even need a replacement friend for anyway?" Cartman wondered.

"I don't remember…I think Kenny was on vacation or something."

("I WAS DEAD FOR A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR!")

"What? That's bullshit. If you were dead you wouldn't be here right now." Cartman retorted, which got Kenny quite mad.

"Guys look! It's Anderson Bedford!"

Nearby a TV announcer's voice could be heard.

"And Anderson Bedford takes a swing at the 7th hole…oh and what a fantastic swing that was! I can't even see where the ball went!"

"Where the hell did it go?" Kyle asked.

As soon as he did though, the golf ball struck Kenny's eye, causing him to fall over and start bleeding. Kenny than died a few seconds later.

"Oh my God! Anderson Bedford killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!" Kyle yelled out to Anderson Bedford.

"Oh Jesus!" Butters exclaimed.

Dylan on the other hand, only pretended to freak out.

"He was such a good pal…only to be killed…by a…golf ball." Stan said in a very sad tone.

* * *

The next day, the six boys, Kenny including, were sitting in a grandstand at the 12th hole, when Cartman said something Kenny found not amusing in the least.

"Hey Kenny, wouldn't it be cool if a golf ball flew over here and hit somebody?"

("Yes Cartman. That would be HILARIOUS.") Kenny sarcastically replied.

"Kenny are you OK?" asked Kyle.

("I was killed by a golf ball yesterday!")

"What? That's bullshit, you're just jealous I thought of that joke first!"

"Yeah!"

("Told you they wouldn't remember!") Kenny whispered to Dylan.

"And they never do?"

("Nope. Never.")

"Not even when your immortality somehow malfunctioned and you were dead for a whole year? They don't remember that?"

("Nope.")

"Yeesh…I'm sorry dude."

("How's that potion coming?")

"Not too well I'm afraid."

Justyn Henryk had approached the beginning of the hole and was beginning to prepare himself. Kyle pulled out a pair of binoculars and watched as Henryk took a few small practice swings and swing his club. The golf ball landed about two-thirds up the fairway and stopped. When it looked as if it had completely stopped, the ball suddenly rolled a little bit away from the hole. While everyone else cheered, Kyle was left confused.

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Did anybody else see how the ball stopped and then rolled AWAY from the green?"

"So?"

"The fairway is FLAT! There's no way it could have rolled further away from the green!" That got Dylan's attention.

"The modifications!" Dylan whispered to himself. "That's how they altered the course! They rigged it!"

"That sounds a little far-fetched Kyle." Stan added.

"You guys it's quite obvious that Kyle is hallucinating from the heat." Cartman theorized.

"I am not! I swear I saw what I saw! C'mon if we get to another hole it might happen again, follow me!"

As the boys left, a marshal, who overheard everything Kyle said, waited until he was out of earshot of the crowd and pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"This is Echo down at Sector 4. We have a termite in the tree farm. I repeat: We have a termite in the tree farm."

"Is it one of those damn kids?" asked the voice on the other end.

"Affirmative."

"I knew they'd catch on first."

"You want me to take care of him?"

"No. Don't do anything for now. In a few days, we should be ready for the next phase of our plan!"

* * *

 **A/N: So what do you all think? Is episode 2 better or worse than episode 1? Any reviews would be greatly appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

RFSP episode #102

The Game Isn't Bad, Just Some Involved With It

Chapter 2-Suspicions

* * *

Stan and co. hurried over to a grandstand by the 3rd hole to see if Kyle's far-fetched theory could be true. The gang took their seats and watched as Buck Christopher arrived at the start of the hole and took a few practice swings. Kyle pulled out his binoculars as Buck swung his club and sent the golf ball flying. Just when it looked like the ball was definitely going to land on the green, it curved ever so slightly, but just enough to land in the sand trap. Kyle began arguing for his case once the crowd expressed their sadness.

"See? That should have hit the green but it somehow went into the sand trap!"

"Dude I think Cartman's right: When did you last have water?"

"I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!"

"I believe you." Dylan said.

"Really?"

"Sure. There's no way that thing could've gone in the sand. There's no breeze or anything."

"Thank you!"

"Are all Jewish people really this dumb?"

"Shut up fat ass!"

"Hey here comes what's his name!" Butters pointed out.

"Gavin Ochoa?"

"Yeah!"

"OK guys. Watch the ball REAL carefully." Kyle asked the others. "I want you all to see I'm not making this up. Notice how the middle part of the fairway is just a TAD bit of a slope, that there is no wind, and that the one sand bunker is near the green."

Kyle pulled out his binoculars again as Gavin Ochoa swung his club, sending the ball to the slope part of the fairway, where it didn't move very much after hitting the ground.

"Nothing happened." Stan noticed.

"Uh…maybe it'll happen when he swings again?"

Sure enough, when Gavin made his second shot, the ball landed right outside the green and began to roll a few feet away from it before it stopped.

"See? That wasn't the slope part! There's no way the ball could have moved away from the green!"

"Hey yeah…I saw that too!"

("Me too!")

"Do you think this golf course could actually be rigged?"

"Well that might explain whatever the hell it was we just saw."

("But why the hell would anybody do that?")

"To make sure their plans succeed." Dylan answered without thinking.

Stan, Kyle, Butters, and Cartman all gave him weird stares, which made Dylan immediately regret saying that out loud.

"I'm kidding." Dylan said as he winked at Kenny and vice versa.

"I'm hungry."

"Of course you are fat boy."

"Ey!"

"Let's go eat at that big tent!" suggested Butters.

"Dude why, there's a normal food tent right there."

"We're VIP remember? We should take advantage of it!"

"Well what about Dylan?"

"It's alright I got the proper ticket. My dad runs the resort, remember?"

"Whatever let's go, I'm starving."

The group walked a little ways over to a giant tent labeled "Par 4 Pavilion". After they all got their passes checked and approved, they headed inside and were met with the immense relief of air conditioning.

"Oh thank Jesus some air conditioning!"

"Especially since the fat one always needs it more."

"Ey!"

"Whoa this is nice in here!" Kyle remarked.

"You kids go ahead and order your food." Dylan told them as he started to walk a few feet away. "Don't forget to tell them it's free for you guys." Dylan waited for them to walk away before he said anything else. "Ooh, my anxiety is building by the second! Surely they know that we know now!" Dylan took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "You're a good leader, and nothing will go wrong. You're a GREAT leader and nothing will go wrong!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the AGA's secret lair, an extremely pissed off Shelton J. Davenport Jr. was having a meeting with some of his mooks/employees.

"What's this I hear about those fucking kids already catching on to us!?"

"It was that kid in the green hat sir! We've looked through his files and he seems to be the smartest out of most of his friends."

"DAMN IT!" Davenport yelled as he slammed his fist down hard on the table. "We modify an entire god-damned golf course and you idiots couldn't keep it a secret for three days!?"

"According to what we know, everything should continue to run just as planned."

"It better! At this rate those kids will find out in no time, and we'll be ruined!"

Unknown to anybody in the room, there was a small video camera implanted in the wall that Leah, Bailey, and Dylan were using to watch the conversation from their base.

"Ah crap, he's onto us!" Dylan said rather hopelessly.

"Any ideas?" Leah asked him.

"A few. Most of them are bad though."

"Such as?" Bailey asked.

"Telling them the truth."

"Yeah, not a good idea."

Dylan sighed. "Then I guess that's just it then."

"What is?"

"We wait a while and see what happens. The practice rounds for the Men's Finals are over and nothing's gone wrong yet. But we keep sending out ground scouts on the offense."

"Roger."

"See you guys later. I have to get work."

* * *

The next day, Stan and Kyle were lounging in the hot tub at Nex hotel's pool.

"So I guess the official rounds start today huh?" Stan asked.

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"Any thoughts on who might win?"

"It's kind of hard to say since we now know the tournament is rigged. But I've been meaning to ask you dude…do you REALLY like Bebe?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Haven't you ever found it…strange you're going out with your ex's best friend? That doesn't bother you at all?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you REALLY hate Wendy?"

"YES! Do you not remember the huge argument we got into that led to our breakup?"

"Of course I do. Everyone was there to see it. Everyone remembers it."

"Then what makes you think I still like her?"

"Two years after the FIRST time you two broke up, that egg project came up. She was sort of trying to at least be friends again, but you just shoved her off. Two years later, you two get back together anyway."

"That was then. This is now. I won't make that mistake again. Besides, you've never had a girlfriend."

Ignoring the slight offense Kyle felt from that comment, Kyle put Stan up to a little test of sorts. "How about you think really, really hard about all the good times you two have shared."

"Why?"

"Just do it dude. Think long and hard about them and see if you feel queasy, even in the least. Then think about any moments you and Bebe may have shared and see if those memories make you queasy."

"What the hell for?"

"Because back when you and Wendy first went out, hell even before that, you always threw up on her."

"Fine. But this won't change anything."

Stan closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and concentrated really hard.

"That's it! Keep going!"

Stan thought long and hard as memories of him and Wendy came flooding back: The night they officially got together, where they stayed up inspecting the contents of Stan's puke. As well as the time when Stan saved her from the pinkeye zombie outbreak, playing truth or dare in his clubhouse, getting her back from Gregory, being in the Thanksgiving musical together, and the night they officially got back together.

"Feel any different?" Kyle asked a few minutes later.

"I'm not sure, but all of a sudden I feel…like…I ate bad eggs in my breakfast this morning."

"O…K. That's a start. Now move on to memories of Bebe."

Stan once again closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and concentrated really hard. It took no more than 20 seconds for Stan to vomit really hard into the hot tub.

"EW WHAT THE FUCK DUDE! NASTY!" Kyle exclaimed as he and Stan hurriedly climbed out of the puke-infested hot tub.

"Aw sick dude! I have to clean up that shit now!" came Dylan's response several feet away.

"Sorry!" Stan yelled back.

"So you threw up by thinking about Bebe."

"I told you! I really do hate Wendy!"

"That may be true, but I think you'd at least want to talk to her again."

"Why would I?"

"You may have thrown up thinking about Bebe, but you felt a little nauseous thinking of Wendy didn't you?"

"Well yeah but…it could have just been something I ate."

"Stop lying to yourself. The point is you thought about Wendy and your old habit of barfing on her seemed to be redeveloping. I really think that some part of you wants her back."

"But…it was just a very small feeling!"

"It was still a feeling wasn't it?"

"Even if I wanted her back, who's to say she thinks the same about me?"

"If you don't want to talk to her, get somebody else to."

"Next time, can you vomit on a day I have off?" Dylan asked as he came by with cleaning supplies and yellow tape.

"Dude it's not my fault you had to work today! Besides, that wouldn't have happened if Kyle hadn't made me!"

"Dude!"

"He has a point Kyle."

* * *

Later that day, Stan made his way to room 308 of the west wing of the Nex hotel and knocked on the door once he got there. Butters opened the door a few seconds later.

"Oh good you're here!"

"Well yeah, why?"

"I need to ask you a favor."

"Are you sure it won't get me grounded?"

"I swear."

"OK then, what is it?"

"Well Kyle was making me do some little self-test and based on the results…I feel like a part of me wants Wendy back."

"What!? But you-."

"I know, I know, we had a pretty fierce argument and I said some things I probably shouldn't have, but I feel like I want her back. Just a small part of me though."

"How does this involve me?"

"Well I'm not sure, like at all, if this small feeling is actually real so…I need you to tell her for me. Can you do that?"

"Well…OK but what's Bebe gonna think about all of this?"

"I'm not really sure. That's another problem I have to deal with now. I guess I could talk to her about it. Do you know where she is?"

"Last I heard, she went to the tournament grounds with Wendy and Red."

"If you see her can you tell her I'm looking for her?"

"Sure!"

"Thanks Butters."

* * *

At the same, Kenny was in the underground base studying a chart when Edith entered the room.

"Dylan-oh it's you!"

("Dylan's got work today, so I'm filling in. Please tell me you guys are coming along with that potion.")

"Sadly I can't say we've made much headway. I can't imagine how you fell."

Kenny sighed. ("At least it's not as frequent now. I just wish Bradley hadn't stolen my spotlight during the whole Cthulhu thing a couple of years ago.")

"Oh and I've wanted to ask you this for a while: Why did you have the desire to be a princess when you had the console wars and when you were playing the game with that new kid?"

Kenny groaned with disgust. ("That was NOT my idea. Cartman and I had made some bet and since I lost, I had to become 'Lady McCormick'. Unfortunately I really got the feel for it and wanted to expand on it, so I asked Cartman if I could become 'Princess Kenny'. Fat ass said no, so I betrayed him and went over to the PS4 side where I became a true princess. Then when the new kid came, I still had a little anger left, so I betrayed everyone and took the stick of truth at the last second.")

"Didn't the new kid kill you?"

("Yes and it hurt like shit! Literally! He fucking farted on my balls!")

"But it got rid of the zombie virus didn't it?"

("Well it did, but I can still feel the pain from Douchebag's Nagasaki technique every time I take a shit!")

"I guess that taught you to not make bets with Cartman, huh?"

("It sure fucking did!")

Edith noticed the chart Kenny was studying. "Say what's on the chart?"

("Dylan had made this yesterday and asked me to analyze it some more. It's about the different mechanisms Davenport has set up for different phases of his plan.")

"Any idea what the master plan is?"

("Sadly, no. But call a conference with the other admins. I think I know what they're going to do next.")

* * *

Half an hour later, Edith, Bailey, Chris, Leah, Sara, and Kenny were all sitting in a conference room of sorts discussing more about the AGA's plan.

"And you're sure about this!?" asked Leah.

("I am. We need to tell Dylan immediately.")

"What are we supposed to do?"

"What can we do!?" Bailey exclaimed. "We've tried just about everything we can but it's all proven ineffective!"

("Guys I think we just need to face the facts: Eventually my friends are going to have to know the truth. Otherwise, we can't win. I'm sure Dylan would feel the exact same way.")

"But doesn't that just put your friends at more risk?"

Kenny turned around and faced the wall. ("Of course it does. But that also gives us a little extra help doesn't it?")

"And you're sure everything's going to be fine?"

Kenny turned back around and removed his hood to show how certain and serious he was.

"Everything will be fine."

* * *

Later that night in the lobby of the Nex, Butters had finally managed to find Wendy.

"Hey Butters!"

"Wendy do you have a quick moment?"

"OK what?"

"Don't take this the wrong way. This might be hard for you and all, but, uh…Stan told me to tell you that he kind of not really wants you back."

This made Wendy freeze and don a facial expression of total shock. A few seconds later however, she donned an angry frown.

"Well tell Stan to fuck off!"

* * *

Three more days passed, and the AGA Men's Finals ended. It was the middle of the afternoon, and Justyn Henryk had just been declared winner of the American Golf Association's Men's Finals. Justyn accepted his trophy, only to get swarmed by the media moments later. Stan and Kyle watched the ceremony and began to leave after Justyn got swarmed with attention.

"Ugh. I could never go for that much attention." Kyle exclaimed.

"I'm sure Cartman and Butters would."

"Speaking of which, did Butters deliver your message?"

"Yeah, but he said that Wendy told me to fuck off. So I guess she doesn't feel the same way."

"That might be true for now, but I can just feel it: You two are going to fall for each other again."

Stan just rolled his eyes.

"It's 5:00. What do you want to do now?"

"I think I'll just go see Bebe or something. I haven't been able to find her, but she said she'd be in her room right around now. You heading back to Dylan's house?"

"Yeah, I guess I better try and find him."

"I think he might be getting off of work soon."

* * *

Up on the 2nd floor of the Nex, Stan made his way to room 225 and knocked on it. Mrs. Stevens answered it a moment later.

"Oh hello Stan!"

"Hi, is Bebe in there?"

"No she's not. As a matter of fact I don't know where she is. She's been gone for a while. My guess is that she's looking for you."

"OK thanks."

After asking a few other people, Stan decided to go ask Kenny if he had seen her. A minute later, Stan was knocking on the door of room 345 and Kenny was quick to answer.

"Hey Kenny, have you seen Bebe? I've been trying to find her for a while now and nobody else seems to know where she is!"

("You…have?")

* * *

Meanwhile down in the lobby, Kyle had finally found his parents…only to notice they seemed a bit distressed.

"Mom! Dad!"

"Kyle! Oh thank goodness you're here!" Sheila said very anxiously.

"What's the matter?"

"It's Ike! He's gone!" Gerald answered.

"Gone!?"

"Yes we've been looking for him for about an hour now! Go check your friend's rooms and see if he's in there!"

"OK!"

* * *

("For how long?")

"I don't know dude I just got here."

Kyle ran up to Stan and Kenny in a panic and about out of breath.

"Dude what's wrong?"

"It's Ike!" Kyle said in between heavy breaths. "He's missing!"

"He's gone!?"

"I ran all around the hotel and I checked with Butters, Token, Wendy, Cartman, and Mr. Garrison! None of them know where he is!"

("So…Bebe and Ike are missing?")

"I guess so." Stan answered. "C'mon let's go see if we can find Dylan! Maybe he knows where they are!"

("How are we supposed to know where to find him?")

"If he's really getting off work soon, he'll most likely be looking for me."

As soon as Kyle said that, Butters and Cartman arrived on the scene.

"Why the fuck is your girlfriend calling me up!?" Cartman asked Stan angrily.

"What!?"

"She just called my room and said for all of us to go meet her in her room!"

"Why the hell would she call you fat ass!?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

"Really?" Butters said, rather interested. "Ike just called my room and told all five of us to go to the same place!"

"What!?"

The boys made their way down to room 225, where they ran into Dylan on the way there. After explaining the situation, Dylan became pretty curious himself and decided to join them. Once they got to the room, they noticed it was open ajar. Stan knocked on it anyway, but there was no answer.

"I guess her parents went to go find her."

"All I know is that Stan's little girlfriend was making a late night call trying to hit me up telling us to meet her here!"

"She wouldn't make out with you fat ass!"

"And I know Kyle's brother called me and said the same thing!"

"Are you sure it was him Butters?"

"Well, yeah. I'd know that little Canadian voice anywhere!"

The group stepped inside the room and closed the door. The room was mysteriously empty.

"But…I know that was Ike on the phone!"

"And I know Bebe was trying to hit on me!"

"Hello? Hello?" Stan called out.

A few seconds later, the bedside phone rang. Kyle walked up to it and, a little nervously, answered it.

"H-hello?"

"Put me on speaker phone." Asked the voice on the other end.

"Who is this?"

"JUST DO IT!"

Kyle pressed the speaker phone button.

"All right you damn kids!" roared the voice on the other end. "Listen to me and listen to me good! ALL OF YOU! Especially the older one!"

The boys all looked at Dylan who just shrugged his shoulders.

"I understand you boys are in quite a predicament."

"Wait how the hell does this guy know there are six of us in here?" Stan wondered.

"That doesn't matter." The voice continued. "But I understand that you desperately want to know the whereabouts of a blonde and a Canadian toddler."

"How did you know that?" Stan asked. "Unless you-."

"I certainly did. They're both being held hostage at my location."

"Oh my God! You kidnapped Bebe and Ike!"

"You bastard!"

"Oh sweet Jesus!" Butters screamed.

"Just bring what I want and they both leave here alive!"

The new details of the situation made Dylan get quite verbally aggressive. "Tell us where to meet and we'll be there!" he demanded.

"Bring me an RF transceiver. 11:30 tonight. Grande Birch. Be there." The voice hung up.

"Grande Birch?"

"It's this hardly populated but gated area over in Silent Juniper. It's only a 10 or so minute drive from my house. It's this big area of land that currently only has about 7 houses in it at most. Makes sense they want to meet us out there."

"What time is it now?"

Dylan glanced at the bedside clock next to the phone. "It's 5:30. We've got six hours. At 11:00 I want all of you to meet me at the pool OK? Make sure nobody sees you. Sneak out of your rooms if you have to."

"But if I get caught, I'll get grounded?"

"Please Butters!" Kyle pleaded. "If all of us have to go I really need you to do this for me! My little brother's in danger!"

"Uh…OK."

"Why the hell do I need to go?" Cartman asked.

"Just do it dude!" Dylan retorted. "Trust me; these people are NOT to be messed with!"

"Huh?"

"Kenny! Call Sara and tell her to pick you guys up after we have Bebe and Ike!"

"What!? Kenny how-."

("Us!? What about you!?")

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine!" Dylan assured Kenny. "You boys are the ones at stake here!"

"Dude what is going-."

"No time to explain Kyle! I'll tell all of you everything later! Kenny, when you call Sara, tell her to take you all to Location 78U!"

("OK!")

"C'mon Kyle, we got to get home! Your parents are waiting on us I'm sure. Don't any of you tell anybody about this OK? I'll see you all at 11!"

Dylan and Kyle ran out of the room to meet up with Sheila and Gerald.

"Kenny? Is there…something you haven't told us?" Stan inquired.

("Not now Stan!") Kenny yelled as he ran out of the room.

* * *

 **A/N: Do you like how the story's headed now? All feedback is much appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

RFSP episode #102

The Game Isn't Bad, Just Some Involved With It

Chapter 3-Truth

* * *

Later that night at the Scralp residence, Sonja and Scott were trying to comfort a very distraught Sheila and Gerald.

"Oh Ike!" Sheila cried out through her tears.

"I'm sure everything will be OK." Sonja reassured her. "The police are looking for them."

"What if it's already too late!?" Sheila uttered as she cried some more.

Dylan and Kyle were watching from the back of the room when Caroline walked in on them.

"What's going on?"

"Ike's gone missing." Dylan told his sister. "He was ki-I mean we don't know where he is!"

Kyle looked puzzled. They knew he was kidnapped, but why did Dylan seem to want to keep that a secret?

"Oh my God…I'm so sorry Kyle! I can't imagine how you feel!" She leaned over and hugged Kyle, causing him to blush.

* * *

At 10:50 P.M., Dylan snuck upstairs to get Kyle.

"Kyle! Kyle!" Dylan whispered.

"Uhn…Is it time?" Kyle said groggily as he had just woken up.

"Yeah it is! Put your clothes on and let's go!"

The two snuck out of the house as quietly as they could, careful not to wake up anyone else.

* * *

As Dylan and Kyle were making their way towards the Nex hotel's pool, the other boys were also quietly leaving their hotel rooms, making sure not to be seen by too many people down in the lobby in the process.

Stan was the last one to arrive at the pool, which had closed an hour earlier. He quietly climbed over the gate and walked towards the towel area.

"Hello?" Stan called out as silently as possible. "Kyle? Butters?"

Just then the door to towel room and Kyle popped out, gesturing him inside. Stan entered the room and closed the door. Kenny, Butters, Cartman, and Dylan were also in there.

"So is there where you fold the towels?" Stan asked.

"Yep. It's like my own little space. I got my own bathroom too!"

"So how are we getting to Grande Birch?"

"We're taking my car of course."

"But your car only has five seats and there are six of us!"

"Oh yeah…about that…."

* * *

A few minutes later, the group was driving towards Grande Birch. Due to the number of seats, Kyle wound up sitting in Cartman's lap, much to his displeasure.

"Ah weak dude! He's going to get all his Jew germs all over me!"

"Shut up fat ass!"

"Now's not the time for this guys!" Dylan reminded everyone. "We all need to focus! Kenny! Did you bring the weapons and the bulletproof vests?"

("Sure did!")

"BULLETPROOF VESTS!? But what-."

"I said I'll explain everything later! Trust me kids-you're going to need these-ALL OF YOU! Put these on underneath your clothes so they think you're vulnerable!"

("What about Bebe and Ike?")

"As long as you all make a shield or something around them, they should be fine. Kenny, show them the picture."

Kenny dug through his pockets and held out a picture of Sara.

"That's my friend Sara. Once we have Bebe and Ike, run as fast as you can to her OK? She'll be waiting at the entrance gate we're about to go through, don't forget!"

"But…you don't have a vest!"

"Trust me I'll be fine Kyle! Now focus everyone! We're at the gate."

The car rolled up to the keypad that stood several feet away from the gate. Dylan rolled down his window, entered a code, and the gate slowly opened. Dylan drove the car through and rolled the window back up as the gate slowly closed behind them. They drove about another half mile and stopped when they got a big open field. The group got out and started walking.

"When I say 'run' you kids tear like hell back towards that gate alright?" Dylan whispered.

"Uh…OK."

"Sure whatever dude."

"Cartman! This is a matter of life and death here!" Dylan half scolded. "Bebe and Ike aren't the only ones! You'll soon find out that all of you are at risk! Now come on!"

The group walked a little farther and stopped when a big bright searchlight-like light shined down on them. One of Davenport's top henchmen stepped out of the shadows to greet them.

"Well if it isn't you kids. I've wanted to meet you for so long."

"Give me back my little brother you dick!" Kyle demanded.

"Did you bring the stuff?"

Dylan pulled out an RF transceiver and tossed it to the man.

"Good work." The man said as snapped his fingers. Bebe and Ike were shoved into the light.

"Bebe!"

"Ike!"

"Stan!

"Kyle!"

Bebe hugged Stan so hard, his face turned a deep shade of blue before she let go of him. And Ike hurriedly embraced Kyle.

"Aw…isn't that sweet?" the man commented mockingly

"Now tell us just what the fuck this is all about asshole!"

"Oh I'd tell you…but then I'd have to kill you."

"Huh?"

"NOW!" yelled the man as he ran off the second he said that.

"RUN KIDS!" Dylan yelled as he also disappeared into the darkness.

At that precise moment, several machine guns and automatic weapons went off in the dark. Dylan ran through it all, somehow dodging every last bullet.

"YOU HEARD ME! RUN! RUN!"

All the kids screamed in unison.

("C'mon we need to find Sara!")

The group ran off, following Kenny, all the while making a circle of sorts around Bebe and Ike the best they could, since they had no bulletproof vests. As they ran back towards the gate, they were soon apprehended by two AGA goons, who tried to take them by force. As they tried to drag them away with them, Kenny began to fight them, both physically and with a handgun of his own, and did rather well. It wasn't long until Kenny finally shot both of the goons, causing them to fall to the ground.

A few minutes of avoiding-gunfire-and-AGA-goons-in-the-dark later, the group finally reached the gate. When they got there, Sara jumped out of the shadows, scaring them all a little.

(It's OK guys, that's Sara!")

"Uh…hi?"

"C'mon! My car's over there!"

"What about Dylan!?"

"He'll be fine!"

The group ran over to a car that was parked nearby. Sara opened the doors and they hurriedly rushed in, with Butters taking the passenger seat. Suddenly a figure popped out of a bush several yards away and shot at the car. Kenny pulled his gun back out and fired several rounds, all of which hit the shooter. Right when everyone else got in the car, Kenny attempted to climb in, but another sniper popped out and shot him a few times, effectively killing him.

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!"

"Close the door!"

Stan shut the door and Sara sped off, crashing through the gate in the process. A few seconds later, the realization of what just happened hit everybody, and Ike started crying into Kyle's jacket.

"It's OK Ike! We're…we're all safe now…right?" Kyle asked Sara.

"For now, yes we are."

"Dude what the hell was all that!?"

"For now I'll just say this: There's WAY more to Dylan then you guys think."

"I'm just glad we're all safe." Stan said as he turned to face Bebe. "Especially you."

"Yeah…thanks." Bebe said as she kissed Stan on the cheek.

"So where are we going?"

"Location 78U." Sara answered.

"And where is that?" asked Cartman, who was sitting in the back seat by himself.

"Hopefully, far enough away. We're going all the way to Virginia."

"Virginia!?" Kyle exclaimed. "Isn't that one state up!?"

"Yes it is. We'll be driving all night. I'll make a stop if anyone has to go to the bathroom, but try and hold it in as long as you can first."

"But what about our families?" Bebe inquired. "Aren't they going to worry?"

"Don't worry. We have that covered."

"But what about Dylan!? Did he get killed out there!? We barely made it out ourselves!"

"He'll be fine. He's…expertly trained in this sort of thing."

"Huh?"

"Now as I said before, if anybody has to go to the bathroom, just tell me. But for now you kids should get some sleep. We have a long drive ahead of us."

"Oh no you don't! This has gone on for long enough!" Kyle exclaimed angrily. "We all want answers NOW!"

Sara sighed. "Fine. I'll tell you. Dylan was going to, but I suppose I will now. I need you all to listen very carefully? Are you all ears?" she looked behind her briefly. "Good."

As soon as she said that, Kenny materialized out of thin air into an empty seat next to Cartman.

"You hear that Kenny?" Cartman asked him. "We have to listen now."

("Oh wha-Sara! You're telling them now!?")

"Kenny! You're back!" Sara noted.

"What do you mean? He was sitting here this whole time!"

"Yeah!"

Kenny face palmed in disbelief.

"First things first you guys…don't you ever wonder why Kenny…disappears mysteriously at times?" Sara asked the kids.

"Well…there are a few times during school when he seems to go home early or something. But not a whole lot."

"Do you not remember him dying a few minutes ago?"

"What!?"

"But that's impossible!" Butters stated. "He's right there, perfectly alive!"

("THAT'S BECAUSE I'M A GOD-DAMNED IMMORTAL!")

"What? That's bullshit Kenny." Cartman replied. "If you had ever died, we'd remember rit."

"Yeah seriously dude. This is like the 5th time you've told us that. You never died, because you wouldn't be here if you were dead."

"Some friends you guys are." Sara replied sarcastically.

"Who the hell are you to judge?" Cartman retorted. "You don't know shit about any of us!"

"If you kids would let me continue, you'd know that I do. Are we all ready to listen again?"

("Just get on with it.")

"OK, here it goes. As you know, Dylan and I are in the 11th grade at Eastern Oak High."

"So?"

"Well…the thing is…Me, Dylan, and the rest of the 11th graders at our school are kind of an agency of sorts. Like a secret underground espionage and offense agency of our own."

"Wait so Dylan…is a spy!?"

"For lack of a better word, yes. Us 11th graders, for a very long time, have been fighting off various bad guys and evil-doers. It's all been relatively simple. We have a huge base full of computers and equipment underground beneath Eastern Oak High. Nobody else, not our parents, not the teachers and administration, not even any 9th, 10th, or 12th graders, know about our little operation. Well…except one."

"And who's that?"

Sara cleared her throat. "Kenny."

"KENNY!?" the others said in unison as they whirled around to face him.

("Yes, it's true.")

"Kenny was the first one to know of our group. The seven of you with me now are the ONLY non-EOH Juniors to know about it."

"So do you guys work for the government or something?"

"Like I said nobody else but you guys know. But now that you do know, you all, right here, right now, have to SWEAR you'll NEVER tell ANYONE about our group. OK?"

"This is all happening too fast…." Stan remarked.

"So did…you guys know who kidnapped Ike and Bebe?"

"Oh we know TONS more than that."

"What…do you know about me?" Cartman asked Sara nervously.

"Your full name is Eric Theodore Cartman, son of Liane Cartman and Jack Tenorman. In 1998, you went on a search to find your real dad. It was determined that Liane was in fact a hermaphrodite, so she was your dad. 12 years later, in 2010 that was revealed to be a cover-up that the whole town was in on in order to protect the reputation of the Denver Broncos. Jack Tenorman was then revealed to be your real father and your nemesis Scott Tenorman was revealed to be your half-brother."

A look of absolute shock spread across Cartman's face.

"But…how did you-."

"Surveillance. That's one of our group's main tactics. Lots and lots of surveillance and espionage. South Park, Colorado has been one of our primary spots for surveillance. But please do understand, we only spy on you so much to protect all of you!"

"Protect?"

"Yes. We've been watching over your town for years now."

"For how long!?" Kyle asked.

"Ever since Cartman's mom move-I mean ever since Dylan came to Nex-I mean ever since Mr. Garrison almost killed Kathie Lee Gifford."

"Why the hell did you start there?"

"No reason really. But anyway, we spy on your town all the time to protect you."

"From what!?"

"The American Golf Association."

"The American Go-You mean the people who gave us a free trip to the golf tournament in Nexton!?" Bebe asked.

"I sure do."

"What the fuck do they want with US?"

"They brought you here as part of their plan."

"Plan?" Kyle wondered. "So they rigged the golf course!?"

"That's right."

"But why would they rig their own event?"

"We're not entirely sure of their plan. All we know is that their plan ends in a grim fate for everyone from your town. I'm sorry you guys had to get involved. We tried several ways to keep you from coming here, but the bastards at the AGA kept outsmarting us."

"So that Davenport guy is the main villain?"

"He sure is."

"Hey wait a minute!" Butters realized. "You tried to prevent us from coming here so that means…you guys were the ones who sabotaged those planes at the airport!"

"Yep."

"And you were the ones who made those planes at the St. Louis airport blow up!"

"Yep."

"And you were the ones who shot our bus tires on our way to Nexton!"

"Yes, but that was actually Dylan himself."

"I don't believe this…."

"That's your idea of protection!?"

"What else were we supposed to do?" Sara asked.

("That's…not all. Kyle, I have a confession to make.")

"What?"

("Remember how your AGA-made reservations at the hotel got lost?")

"Yeah I do. Wait…was that the work of Dylan's little group you're a part of!?"

("Yes but more specifically…it was me.")

"WHAT!?"

("I'm sorry.")

"Why would you do that Kenny!?"

("Look it wasn't my idea! Somehow, Dylan thought that if your family stayed at his house, you'd be safer. I didn't think it would make a difference, but he made me do it anyway. I really am sorry.")

"Can we trust you anymore Kenny?"

("Huh?")

"Yeah asshole!" Cartman agreed. "You're part of this little group for years on end and you don't tell your friends?"

"Yeah really, that's not cool Kenny." Stan added. "How can we trust you?"

("I kept this a secret to protect you! You have to understand that!")

"It's for everyone's benefit you all forgive Kenny. Now that we safely rescued Beeb and Ike, Davenport's going to be after you guys more."

("Guys I really am sorry.")

Kyle calmed down. "If it was really all to protect us then…I trust you Kenny. I forgive you."

"Me too." Stan added. Kenny looked at Cartman.

"Fine, me too."

"Me too Kenny!" Butters added.

("Thanks guys. Bebe?")

Bebe smiled and said "Sure!"

("Thanks")

"So you don't know their plan?" Butters asked Sara.

"No, but we think we're coming in on a breakthrough."

"So…how much about our town do you guys know?" Stan inquired.

"Plenty. In brief, we know about your teacher Ms. Choksondik's death, how Kyle's mom almost had Terrance and Phillip killed, Saddam Hussein's involvement with South Park, Mr. Hankey, Barbra Streisand becoming a giant robot dinosaur, your adventures with the new kid a few months ago, your boy band 'Fingerbang', Kyle's lame cousin Kyle, your hatred for baseball and how Stan's dad saved you all from playing it the rest of that summer, Stan's grandpa trying to take over the town with the AARP, the Gooback invasion, the hippie infestation, Stan becoming L. Ron Hubbard, how you put a whale on the moon, Cartman's attempt to get Family Guy off the air, Stan and Wendy's first break-up and when they got back together, the giant guinea pig invasion, the queefing fad, how Cartman's real dad was fed to Cartman's half-brother in a bowl of chili as I already talked about, the City Wok guy not actually being Chinese, how Clyde's mom died, the PS4 Vs. Xbox One Black Friday war from last Thanksgiving, and how you all tried to use Minecraft to stop your parents from watching informative murder porn."

"Holy…."

"Shit!"

"God-damn you guys are stalkers!" Cartman added.

Sara continued. "Cartman, you tried to rig the 2012 election so you could have a role in the next Star Wars movie. Bebe, when you grew boobs, all the boys went crazy for you and a few years later, you made a fake list saying Kyle was the ugliest kid in your class."

"That was a fake!?" Butters exclaimed.

"Oh yeah." Stan recalled. "I guess Kyle, Wendy, and I never really told anybody that."

"Fat ass was the ugliest on the real list." Kyle chimed in.

"No! NOOOO!" Cartman yelled in disbelief. "Bebe, you son of a bitch whore!"

"Can we please not bring this up?" Bebe asked with a hint of guilt and sadness in her voice. "I feel bad enough for doing that to Kyle!"

"You're just lucky I didn't burn down the school." Kyle grunted. "I was really close to doing it too!"

("Not to mention I was shot by YOUR bullet that night!")

"What?"

Sara started again: "Stan brought Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman along on a boring zip lining tour just so he could win an iPod Nano."

"Yeah thanks a lot asshole." Cartman grunted at Stan. "Ooh! Ooh! What about the time when Kyle had his mouth sewn on to some guy's ass!" Cartman recalled as he laughed hysterically.

"You still think the anal probe incident was a dream dumb ass!" Kyle retorted.

"Because it was Kyle! My mom said so!"

"Cartman, that was real. Get over it." Sara told him. "And don't think we don't know about the time Butters faked his death to become a girl to invade Heidi's slumber party."

"That was the longest I've ever been grounded…once my parents believed I was alive." Butters recalled.

"And why did you feel the need to have 'Marjorine' invade our slumber party?" Bebe asked Stan very intently.

"Because you guys had a future telling device! Why wouldn't we want that?"

"Future tell-you mean the paper fortune teller? That thing can't really tell the future, it's just a stupid game somebody made!"

"What!?"

"You idiots seriously thought that thing could predict an actual future!? I can expect that from Cartman, but I thought the rest of you were smarter than that!"

"Cartman dragged us into it!"

"I did not!"

"You did too!"

("Can we talk about something else?")

After a few moments of silence, Ike whispered loudly "Rest in peace Ms. Stephenson."

"Oh yeah. We know about that too." Sara replied.

"How much longer until we get there?"

"Hours. You kids should get some sleep now."

"Yeah, I feel pretty tired." Stan uttered in the middle of a yawn.

"Me too." Butters added.

* * *

All the way back at Grande Birch, Davenport had finally showed up, several minutes into the aftermath of what happened.

"They got away didn't they?" Davenport asked his henchmen.

"I'm afraid so. And the transceiver they gave us is a fake."

Davenport slapped him extremely hard in the face out of pure anger

"YOU…IDIOTS! Where are they now!?"

"Location unconfirmed." The goon replied as he held his hand to his face to try and ease the pain from the slap.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!" Davenport screamed as he stormed off, extremely pissed off.

* * *

Hours later, Sara was still driving. All the kids were asleep, with Ike leaning against Kyle and Bebe's head resting on Stan's shoulder. A call alarm of sorts sounded on the radio. Sara pushed a button to activate the phone call feature she installed in it.

"Are you guys OK?" It was Dylan.

"Boy am I glad to see you're OK!" Sara said with a sigh of relief.

"Same here. Is anybody hurt?"

"Nope, we all got away safely. Kenny died trying to take down a sniper, but he materialized out of thin air later. He's with me."

"How close are you to Location 78U?"

"About an hour away."

Unknown to Sara, Kyle had begun to wake up and started listening in on the conversation.

"Great! Listen I need to tell you something."

"Shoot it."

"I…called in one of my old team mates, Jessica."

The sudden news came as such a shock to Sara, that she slammed on the brakes and immediately swerved to avoid hitting another car.

"YOU WHAT!?"

"What other choice do I have Sara?"

"You're putting us all at extreme risk!"

"I didn't have any other choice! I know the AGA's plan now, and this was my only option!"

"You know their plan!? What is it!?"

"I'll give you the full details later, but their plan is to somehow take everyone from South Park hostage and, using some device they made, locate you-know-what! He's going to use it to reorganize the world in his image! You have to understand Sara…they're planning on killing me."

That last part gave Kyle a stunned look.

"What!? Dylan no…please don't do this!"

"I have to. I'm sorry but if I don't…people are going to die. You, me, everyone from South Park, our fellow 11th graders, my old team…all of them."

"Dylan…please…."

"I know it's hard…but I think it's time those kids learned the truth about themselves."

This made Kyle perk up even more.

"You don't mean-."

"Yes Sara, I do. Tell them everything. Even how Liane…is not Cartman's real mom."

Kyle was SHOCKED. He didn't know what to think about that last part.

"Oh my God…."

"I swear to you and to everyone else that it'll all be fine. No matter what happens I swear to you that everyone'll make it out alive and well! I won't let anything happen to any of you. I have to go now. Jessica's almost here."

Dylan hung up, leaving Sara (and Kyle) with their mouths hanging wide open, not able to believe a word that was just spoken.

"Oh my God…."

* * *

A few minutes later, in an unknown location, Dylan was walking around looking for someone. Eventually he came across a figure in the shadows.

"Hey! Great to see you again!"

The figure stepped out of the shadows and showed herself: She was Jessica. Jessica sported waist length golden blonde hair, green eyes, and was currently dressed in a t-shirt and short shorts. A very close friend of Dylan's, the two had hardly seen each other in the past several years for reasons you will know later.

"It's been to long hasn't it?" Jessica replied as the two hugged each other.

"Are any of the others here?" she asked.

"One is, but I haven't really talked to her…yet. But for now we need to go somewhere public, but discrete."

"What for?"

"To catch up of course."

Jessica smiled as the two headed back to Nexton.

* * *

The sun rose an hour or two later. Sara and the kids had finally arrived at location 78U, but it sure didn't look like it. Sara parked the car at the base of a mountain in the middle of the forest.

"This is Location 78U?"

"The outside of it. The actual base is virtually undetectable."

As the group approached the base of a huge rock cliff, Sara realized something.

"Oh I forgot I never registered my DNA with the computer here. Kenny can you open it?"

("Sure!")

Kenny walked up to the rock wall and placed his hand on it. A few seconds later a blue light appeared over his hand and scanned it. Kenny opened his eye a little more and his retina was scanned as well.

" **DNA scans accepted."** The base's computer spoke. **"Welcome Kenny McCormick"**

The rock wall then slid open, revealing an entrance. The group walked inside and the stone door slid back into place, leaving the room dark. Kenny fumbled around for a light switch and turned it on when he found it.

"Whoaaaaaa!" gasped the kids in awe as they saw what lied before them.

The hideout was quite spacious. The group was standing in some kind of living room with a TV. A staircase nearby led down to the rest of the area. At the bottom, which was also visible from the living space, the group could see a large pool with a few waterslides and a self-serve snack bar and plenty of beach chairs. They could also see a miniature golf course, among other cool things. And all that they saw before them was encased in an atrium made to look like paradise.

"Holy crap! This place looks awesome!"

"Kenny have you been here before?" Stan asked.

("I sure have! I have a bedroom here too!")

"Wait, this place has bedrooms?"

"Yep!" Sara answered. "This is actually one of dozens of bases we have around the country, all virtually undetectable and known only by our operation."

"Dozens!? How many do you have!?"

"We have a few in every state, including Alaska and Hawaii. You can see where they all are on that map over there." Sara motioned towards a big map of the US on the wall. "Most states have three. Some of the bigger ones have at least four; some of the smaller ones only have one or two. We don't have one in Washington D.C. Whenever one of us gets an assignment, we go to the base nearest where we need to be."

"But if your families don't know about any of this, how do you pull it off?"

"We have a few ways. Holograms, robots, clones…just to name a few. All these bases have plenty of bedrooms in them. Me and the other admins of our group have a few personal bedrooms in a lot of these bases. Kenny, Dylan, and I have one here."

"Wait if there's one in every state, why didn't we just go to one in North Carolina?"

"This is one of Dylan's favorite bases. He figured you'd like it too. Kenny and I are quite fond of it ourselves."

"How do you get around to all these places?"

"We have various high speed transportation vehicles and such."

"Damn you guys are loaded!"

("We sure are!")

"Well I have been awake all night driving." Sara said in between a yawn. "And I'm pretty tired. I'm going to sleep in my room. Kenny, show them to their rooms. I hope you enjoy everything!" She said as she began walking down the staircase.

"So I guess your team made clones of us before we got here?" Bebe asked Kenny.

("Well….")

* * *

 **A/N: *whew* That was a bit longer than the first two chapters. So now that more of the plot is being unraveled, do you guys like the way it's headed? Any reviews are appreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4

RFSP episode #102

The Game Isn't Bad, Just Some Involved With It

Chapter 4-The Master Plan

* * *

Back in Nexton the same morning, a blood curling scream sounded throughout the Scralp residence. Sheila Broflovski had just discovered that Kyle had gone missing as well.

"What's wrong!?" asked Sonja as she ran up the stairs to where Sheila found Kyle's bed empty.

"It's Kyle! He's gone missing too!"

"Him too!?"

"Yes!"

"Dylan!"

Hearing his mom's call, Dylan ran up the stairs to see what was the matter.

"What?"

"Kyle must have slipped out last night. You've been sleeping on the couch, so did you hear anything last night that sounded like footsteps?"

"Uh…no."

As Sheila began to cry, Dylan quietly crept back downstairs and hoped that Kyle was where he thought he was.

* * *

Gerald and Sheila quickly drove over to the Nex hotel to look for Kyle. When they got there, they noticed Sharon and Randy running around looking just as worried.

"Randy!"

"Is your kid missing too!?" Randy asked them.

"Huh?"

"It's Stan! He's gone!"

"You too!? We just discovered Kyle's gone too!"

"Oh my God!"

* * *

Word had quickly spread that not only Kyle, Stan, and Ike were missing, but Kenny, Butters, Bebe, and Cartman were as well. A reporter from Channel 6 News stood in front of the Nex to give the story.

"Breaking news, we have learned that seven children have gone missing in the past 24 hours. 4 year-old Ike Broflovski vanished yesterday afternoon at around 6:00. It now appears that five other boys and a girl have gone missing as well. All seven of these kids are from South Park, Colorado, the town that won the AGA's free admission sweepstakes for the AGA Finals this year. The families of the missing children had all been given rooms here at the Nex hotel. If you see these kids, please contact the authorities immediately with any information you may have."

One by one, the news station flashed pictures of the seven kids as their names were listed.

"The seven children are Stanley Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Ike Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Kenneth McCormick, Leopold Stotch, and Bebe Stevens. We go now to the parents of these children."

Randy and Sharon appeared on camera next.

"Stan, wherever you are, I hope you're OK and…we all want you home." Randy pleaded as Sharon cried.

Kenny's mother and sister were on next.

"Kenny, please come back. I really hope nothing's happened to you."

"Kenny! Please come home!" Karen pleaded through her tears.

Stephen and Linda were on next.

"Butters if you come home right now, your mother and I promise not to ground you for more than three days. Please come back to us son." Stephen pleaded as Linda cried uncontrollably.

The news reporter continued. "Here's what some of their fellow townspeople have to say."

The report switched to several other small interviews of other South Park locals.

"Oh God! What if they're dead!? AAAAHHHHH!"

"Children, Mr. Hat is really worried for all of you."

"Ooh Jesus! Jesus Christ! I hope they're not in that much danger!"

"Kids, wherever you are, I really hope this isn't a result of you guys screwing around!"

"Cartman you better be OK because you still owe me my birthday money asshole!"

"That's gay that they're missing!"

"Huh huh huh yeah that's gay! That's totally gay!"

* * *

"You son of a bitch Kenny…." Kyle said as the kids were watching the report.

("Huh?")

"You can make clones and holograms and shit, but you couldn't make any of us!?"

"Yeah, what the fuck dude!"

("It's for our own good. They won't continue with their plan unless you guys are there! See, look!") Kenny pointed back at the TV screen, where Davenport was now giving his thoughts on the issue.

"We are aware of the issue. The Woman's Finals were supposed to start today, but the AGA has postponed it to try and help find these kids. We share our concerns with the affected families and we realize how anxious they must be right now, and we're doing what we can to help them."

Kenny turned the TV off. ("As long as they keep looking for us, the Woman's Finals will never start. And if it never starts, they can't continue their plan! And they'll never find us as long as we stay here.")

"Oh sure, great idea Kenny!" Cartman replied sarcastically.

"Yeah now our parents are going to think we're dead asshole!"

("You will be dead if they find you! You're Davenport's top priority, especially Cartman!")

"Why me!?"

("I mean *cough* especially me. I'll see you guys later.")

Kenny walked down the staircase and out into the atrium area, leaving the others on a suspicious note.

"He's hiding something." Stan theorized.

"What could he be hiding? He and Sara have already told us about their little group!"

"I still think there's even more about them than that. Sara said Dylan has a room here right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I say we go in there and see what the hell he's not telling us!"

"How are we supposed to find his room?"

"Uh…I don't know."

"Stan, we're all already paranoid, can't we just relax for a little bit?" Bebe asked, trying to calm him down.

"Fine, whatever."

They started to walk down the staircase into the atrium area, but Kyle pulled Cartman aside.

"What?"

"Cartman…I think there's something you need to hear."

"What?"

"I think Stan's right about Sara's group not telling us everything."

"Huh?"

"Last night in the car…I woke up to hear Sara talking with Dylan on some kind of phone on the radio. Dylan had said something about needing to tell us everything and something about calling in one of his old teammates."

"So?"

"Well…that's not all. After that, he said something…about your mom…not being your real mom."

Cartman couldn't believe what he just heard, as a look of shock and horror spread across his face.

"What!?"

"We need to grill Dylan the next time we see him. If we ever get back to Nexton, we need to search his room or something."

"I can't believe I'm saying this…but you're right Kyle."

* * *

Later that night, Kenny was showing the others where the guest rooms were. Cartman went on to say that, for a poor person, Kenny had a pretty sweet place here.

("Nobody texted or called anyone today did they?")

The others all shook their heads no.

("Good, that'd give away our location")

A few minutes later, Stan and Butters were getting ready for bed in a two bed guest room they were sharing.

"Butters, do you think we're going back to Nexton soon?"

"Oh boy, I hope so! Even if am getting grounded for having left in the first place."

"Can I ask you…a personal question?"

"Sure buddy!"

"You said that Wendy didn't seem interested in me, right?"

"Yes."

Stan let out a deep sigh. "Here's the problem I'm facing: I don't who I'm in love with, if anybody. After our break-up, I was feeling sad and alone and then…Bebe tried to comfort me for some reason. After a while of it we had started to like each other more and got into what we're in now. I grew to hate Wendy but love her best friend. But now that a month has gone by…I don't know who I love. But now I feel like I'm thinking 'What if I really don't hate Wendy?' What if I just wanted to be friends or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Butters, everyone knows Wendy and I have been together for over a decade. What if the real reason I broke up is not because we had a falling out but what if…what if it's been so long I just wanted to tone it down a bit and just be close friends?"

"Oh gosh Stan…I don't know. What would Bebe or Wendy think about all this?"

"That's what I'm afraid to find out. One side of me claims I really do hate Wendy and love Bebe and another side claims I have nothing against her and that it had just been a long time and since we hadn't done a whole lot together in the months before our 2nd break up anyway…."

"Here's what I think: Go to Wendy."

"What?"

"Go to Wendy and tell her how you REALLY feel."

"Tell her how I really feel…you're right Butters. Thanks!"

"Well sure Stan!" Butters smiled.

* * *

Everyone in location 78U had fallen asleep…well everyone except for Kenny.

Kenny pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

Back in the underground base, Leah was working on a computer when her phone rang.

"Hello?"

("Leah? It's Kenny. Do the thing.")

"Gotcha!"

* * *

At some point in the middle of the night, Stan woke up…only to find himself back on the pull out couch in his hotel room of the Nex hotel. Out of total confusion, he began to scream. This woke Shelley up, who responded by throwing a pillow at him.

"Shut up turd!"

"Stanley what's wrong?" Sharon asked as she and Randy also woke up.

"What the hell am I doing here!?"

"Uhh…this is our room." Randy answered.

"What!? But…but I was in Virginia in some place called Location 78U and-what day is it!?"

Sharon peered over at the bedside clock next to her. "Well it's not midnight quite yet, so it's still Sunday."

"Sunday!? But I've been gone for a whole day! And so has Kyle, and Bebe, and Butters, and-."

"Stan I think you just had a bad dream. Go back to sleep son."

It took a long time, but eventually Stan did fall back asleep. The next morning he ran through the Nex lobby and found Cartman.

"Cartman! What the fuck are we-."

"Doing here, I know! I don't know what the fuck happened!"

They both paused and figured out who would know something.

"Kenny!" they both shouted in unison as they ran upstairs to room 345. When they got there, Butters, Ike, Kyle, and Bebe were there trying to answer the same question.

"You guys! What-."

"I don't know dude! None of us do, but we figured Kenny would."

Cartman shoved Kyle aside and started banging on the door. "KENNY YOU SON OF A BITCH! OPEN THE DOOR!"

The door opened and Kenny stepped out.

("What the fuck do you want-oh hi guys.")

"Kenny, how the hell are we back here!?"

For a moment, Kenny said nothing. Suddenly, he started to laugh pretty hard.

"That's not funny asshole!"

("OK you guys, I'll tell you later. After breakfast, all of you meet me in the lobby, Ike too. I'm going to take you to the underground base where Dylan's group does their work. See you later. And don't let anyone know where you're going.")

Kenny closed the door and the others turned around to go eat breakfast in the dining room.

"Dude…this is all seriously pretty fucked up…."

* * *

The kids were able to slip out easily after they finished breakfast. Kenny took them to a small thickly forested area behind the pond that was behind Eastern Oak High. They came to a stop at a certain tree and Kenny tapped a few precise pieces of bark and moss on the tree and the ground below them started to sink. A minute later, the group had entered the underground base, and the kids gazed in awe at the sight before them.

("Well, we're here.")

"Whoaaa!"

"This is neat-o!"

"Yeah dude, sick base you guys have."

("Follow me.")

Kenny led them through the base and they found Dylan, Sara, and Bailey in front of a whiteboard.

"Great you made it!" Dylan greeted the kids.

"Just what the hell are we doing here again!?"

"Ah yes, one of my most brilliant ideas ever! You see we have this little tool we used. It sent the whole world back in time 24 hours. The only ones who remember anything are my group and you kids."

"So does that mean the AGA never kidnapped Bebe and Ike?"

"That's right!"

"And they don't know they tried?"

"Yep. Not like it was a big loss for them anyway." Bailey answered. "The transceiver Dylan gave them was fake, but now they don't have it anymore."

"That's pretty cool!"

("But we have bigger problems now. We know Davenport's plan."

"Yes we do." Dylan turned to Bailey and Sara. "Get everyone together in the auditorium. We need to announce this."

* * *

A few moments later, all the EOH Juniors and the kids were meeting in the auditorium. Dylan, Sara, Bailey, Leah, Edith, Chris, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Ike, Bebe, and Butters were all standing on the stage while the rest of the 11th graders were sitting in the auditorium seats. A large projector screen stood in the middle of the stage that was being operated by Sara. As Dylan talked, she clicked through each slide.

"First of all." Dylan began. "These are Kenny's friends that we all know so much about."

Everyone else said hello to them in unison with Stan responding with a simple "Uh…hi?"

"You assholes are all a bunch of stalkers!" Cartman yelled out. Kenny quickly covered his mouth and told him to pay attention.

A map of the Sapphire course of the Nexton resort was shown on the screen. It had a bunch of lines and markings drawn all over it.

"As we all know, Davenport and his gang have modified the Sapphire course, the historic golf course on which both tournaments are being held on. Today is the first practice day of the Women's Finals. We now know that Justyn Henryk was the winner of the Men's Finals." Dylan said as Sara changed the slide to a picture of Justyn Henryk. "We have determined that Henryk only won because the golf course was rigged. According to our calculations, if the course hadn't been rigged at all, Gavin Posey would've won."

"Ah, that wasn't very nice of them." Butters said sympathetically.

"Indeed it wasn't."

Bailey continued. "We now know that if Henryk hadn't won, Davenport's plan would never succeed. That's why they rigged the course-so that Henryk would win for sure."

"So…I was right?" Kyle asked.

"Yes you were."

"Why evil man need Polish guy?" Ike asked.

Sara changed the slide to a diagram of a brain labeled "Henryk's brain" as Edith explained the next part.

"Justyn Henryk's brain gives off a certain type of neurological signal. That's why Davenport needed that transceiver-so he could modify it to interpret the data from his brain waves. But we just found out he has a transceiver now-a real one. With it, he'll be able to interpret the data from Henryk's brain's neurological brain waves."

"What do they want with some dude's brain?"

Leah continued after Sara changed the slide to a picture of a humongous drilling machine of sorts.

"They need his brain to activate this drill. They set it up to their specifications, but are missing one line of code that they need to make it work properly. Davenport determined that Justyn Henryk is the only person in the WORLD whose brain wave patterns can be converted into the line of code they need. The AGA has tried countless times before to figure out what the code is themselves, but they've had no luck."

"So how does that involve him winning the tournament?"

"They felt like they had no other way that would've been as discrete and unobvious." Chris answered. "The trophy Henryk received for winning was designed so that as soon as any of his DNA, such as his fingerprints, made contact with it, the trophy would then establish a link between the transceiver and Henryk's brain-and Henryk doesn't even know it. With the transceiver, they're able to extract the code they need."

("This is why they set up rules such as no cell phones and such. They didn't want any kind of radio signal interrupting the process. They also did it to prevent communication between anybody that suspected them. Stan, when your dad was taken to the 1st Aid tent, they did something to him so that he would obey the rules and not try anything else that could expose their plan. That's what they've done to all the rule breakers during the tournament. Your dad doesn't exactly remember what happened in the 1st Aid tent, but he does remember it being somewhat traumatizing. That's why he hasn't done anything stupid since while at the golf course.")

"Boys, remember those little earpieces a grounds worker gave you during our first day there?" Dylan asked.

"Yes."

"The reason Kenny and I didn't take one is because we knew that they had dangerous effects. Those ear pieces let you tune into ESPN or whatever so that as long as you're at the course, you can know what's happening. But they also built it so that the radio signal your earpiece receives makes your mind…more lax, for lack of a better word. We've determined that golf course adjustments would have been noticeable if one did not have an earpiece. Still a very unlikely chance anybody without one would, but a better chance than if they had an earpiece."

"But I had an earpiece and I noticed right away!" Kyle exclaimed.

("That's true. The AGA wasn't counting on any of us being that smart.")

"Ah!"

"But what does that drill thing do?" Butters asked.

"They're going to use it to drill deep, deep below the earth, below their secret lair to be exact. We're talking like almost to the Earth's core." Sara continued as she changed the slide to a picture of a glowing purple powder-like substance. "They're going to drill for this!"

All the other 11th graders gasped out of horror and fear, for they knew what it was and how dangerous it could be.

"What is that!?" Stan asked.

("Chemical Z.")

"Chemical Z?"

"Yes, Chemical Z." Dylan added. "It's an extremely powerful element whose existence has just been mere rumors to even the world's top scientists and chemists. But we know about it. Unfortunately, so does Davenport. Davenport's ultimate goal is to do something bad on a global scale."

"What do you mean?"

"We're not sure if he's going to take over the world, enslave all of humanity, destroy the world, or what. There's a lot of things we know he could and would do, but we haven't narrowed it down to just one yet." Bailey added.

"With Chemical Z he can do what he pleases to say the least. He's planning on using it to power whatever he needs to accomplish whatever his goal is." Leah continued.

"He'll get rid of anybody standing in his way once he has Chemical Z…including you kids." Dylan said to the now somewhat scared kids.

"US!?"

"Not just you kids…everyone from South Park. But especially you."

"Oh my God!"

"But why us especially!?"

"Because I worked alongside one of-I mean, we honestly have no idea."

("We just know.")

Dylan's sudden unsure tone of voice made Stan raise his eyebrows a little bit.

"Bottom line you guys-your whole town's in danger. Your parents, your friends…everyone."

("They plan on taking us all hostage at some point-both those from Nexton and those from South Park.")

"How do we stop them!?"

"That's the problem." Bailey answered. "We…don't really know how."

"We do know that Davenport is gathering a few extra hands in order to take us and you kids down for good."

"Who?"

("Some old enemies of ours.")

"Old enemies?"

("Yep. We don't know who though.")

* * *

Later that day, Davenport was having a meeting in his lair with some of his employees.

"Sir are you aware that-."

"I'm quite aware!" Davenport interrupted. "But it's OK that they know now."

"It is?"

"It is now! Let's say I've…hired a few friends to help take care of these little bastards. And they know exactly how to take care of them…." Davenport flashed a wicked grin and started laughing evilly as he rubbed his hands together.

* * *

Later that afternoon, the kids had decided that they needed to rummage through Dylan's house, just in case he was hiding something else. Kyle and Ike were waiting at Dylan's car in the Nex parking lot when Stan, Bebe, Cartman, and Butters finally showed up.

"About time! He's almost here! Get in the trunk!"

The other four climbed in the trunk. "How'd you get that open?" Stan asked.

"Spare key I found at Dylan's house."

"How are we supposed to keep from bouncing around in here?"

"Easy: Use Cartman."

"Ey!"

Practically as soon as Kyle closed the trunk, Dylan finally showed up.

"You two ready to go?"

"Yes. We are." Kyle said in a way that confused Dylan a little.

"Hey Dylan can I ask you something?" Kyle asked Dylan in the car a few minutes later.

"Sure, what?"

"Have you told my friends and I everything about yourself?"

"Of course. The only thing I had to hide was my operation with my friends."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Really."

* * *

Dylan, Kyle, and Ike arrived at the Scralp residence to find that nobody else was home. Dylan opened the door to let Kyle and Ike in and told them he had to go do something else. Stan, Cartman, Butters, and Bebe were able to silently sneak out of the trunk and hide before Dylan came back out. Once they were sure he had driven off, Kyle let them in the house.

"Boy that was close!"

"I'll say! Good thing he didn't bother sticking around. And nobody else is here either."

"Which gives us plenty of time to uncover whatever the hell else we're not being told. Where's Kenny?"

"I don't know. I couldn't find him at the hotel."

"Well whatever, let's get to work." Kyle said kind of taking charge. "Butters, you check Dylan's room. Bebe you get Caroline's room, Stan you look in the office."

"Is that the room with the computer?"

"Yes. Ike, you check his parent's room. Make sure to look in the closet and bathroom too OK? Cartman you look upstairs and I'll look everywhere else. Be thorough, but clean up after yourselves and put everything back the way it was."

"Got it!" everyone replied in unison.

Butters looked in Dylan's room, not knowing Gerald and Sheila had been occupying it for the past week. He peered under the bed covers and noticed a bunch of wet spots. The wet spots were indicators that Kyle's parents had sex the previous night, but Butters mistook it for Dylan wetting the bed. He breathed a sigh of relief and said he was glad that he wasn't the only one.

Over in the office, Stan was looking through the files on the computer when he came across an extremely peculiar one. "How Is Such Topics Octagonally Rhetoric in the sense of Yesterday's Essential but Stupid Statements of one pointing to the Asteroid of the Yiddish!? What the fuck kind of a file name is that!?"

Stan opened the file, but it turned out to be an old school paper Dylan had wrote a while ago.

Kyle was busy checking under the couch in the TV room, where he found a quarter underneath the cushions.

Butters eventually came across a box that was nestled in the back of Dylan's closet where it was quite well hidden. He opened the box and inspected its contents.

"Let's see...old test papers, old school notes, and a picture of…him and Eric's mom!? FELLAS! I FOUND SOMETHING!" Butters yelled out.

Everyone else rushed in to the room to see what Butters had found.

"What'd you find?"

"This!" Butters answered as he shoved the picture towards Kyle.

Kyle stared at it for a moment, completely speechless.

"What is it!? What is it!?"

"It's a picture of Dylan and…Cartman's mom! This looks like it was taken when they were much younger!"

"WHAT!? Give me that!" Cartman yanked the picture out of Kyle's hands. "What the hell is this!?"

"There's writing on the back!"

Cartman flipped the picture over and read aloud what was written on the back of it.

"Liane and me, August 1989. Shortly before Liane was…chosen to be the adoptive mother of Diane's new-born son…Eric!"

Everyone just stared blankly at each other for a whole minute. They didn't know how to react.

"So…what I overheard Dylan tell Sara was right?" Kyle wondered.

"This whole time Cartman not only never knew his real father…."

"But he never knew his real…mother?"

"Oh hamburgers…."

Cartman went from speechless to extremely pissed off in a matter of seconds.

"God…damn it! GOD-DAMN IT!" Cartman yelled as he angrily stormed out of the room, completely filled with rage.

"Is everyone thinking what I'm thinking?" Kyle asked with sudden anger in his voice.

"Oh yeah. Fuck yeah."

"We confront that son of a bitch as soon as he gets back!"

* * *

Dylan finally got back home about 20 minutes later and was certainly not expecting seven kids in his bedroom waiting on him and angrily staring him down with hunched eyebrows when he entered his room.

"Alright you! What is the meaning of this!?" Kyle angrily demanded.

"Um…what the hell are you all doing here?" Dylan asked.

"Explain THIS asshole!" Cartman angrily demanded as he held up the picture they had found. The second Dylan saw the picture, his face became flooded with intense looks of fear and anxiety and his mouth just hung open.

"How did you…oh…my…God…." Dylan sighed. "Well…I guess I should've expected this. It was only a matter of time." Dylan sighed again and sat down on his bed to face the kids. "Kids…there is one more thing about me you don't know…and it doesn't just involve me either. Listen carefully…I'm about to tell you something that I prayed none of you, not anybody, would ever find out about…."

* * *

 **A/N: And episode 2 of Rad Fanon South Park is complete! Huzzah!**

 **What is the connection between Liane and Dylan's past? Is Liane really not the mother of Eric Cartman? What are Stan's true feelings for Wendy? What does Davenport plan to do with Chemical Z? Be on the lookout for the next episode; name TBD, to find out!**

 **I hope you're enjoying the new plot twist this episode contained! Any feedback is gratefully appreciated!**


End file.
